Throw your mittens around your kittens, and away we go. So It Goes Baseball is Back!

Yup, the Twins are on! And, yup, we're down by 2 and Vance Worley is glistening with sweat even though it's 33 degrees out and we haven't even seen Justin Verlander yet. So what.

Let's all just be happy baseball is back. 

Aces and rookie phenoms; head first hustle; mashers;
aging elbows; so-green grass and shadows; surprise heroes;
rhythm; inches; onions and kraut browning perfect on flattops,
and cold beer; shut outs; walk offs; held breath; lost voices;
lucky socks; and sweet swings.

Let's just be happy all of this is back.

Ciao, buddies.

-christine

And, seriously, put those mittens on those kittens, it's fucking cold out.

  

From My Brain to Your Eyes: Top 10 Sports Moments of 2012

I love lists.

There is no better season for list-lovers than the end of the year and the 'best of' everything. Songs, films, local chefs, political sex scandals, previously undiscovered facial expressions of Claire Danes. And, of course, sports.

What fun! Let's play.

This isn't an overall best sports stories of the year, but more of a collection of memorable moments -- and all off the top of my head, which I guess is as good a way as any to assess the memorability of a moment.

In no particular order:

THE REPLACEMENTS

Well, that happened. It still hurts my feelings and makes me curse.


LeBRON VICTORY-DANCING ALL OVER THE WORLD

He had a big year. And that big LeBron grin is irresistible to me. It's like the happiest place on earth is in Lebron's mouth.  [more LeBron victory-dancing]


CHUCK PAGANO'S LOCKER ROOM SPEECH



I'm dancing at two more weddings, and we're hoisting that trophy together. That doesn't read like a stunningly powerful line, but it certainly is delivered as one. 


GABBY DOUGLAS

There were many, many great Olympic moments -- Ryan Lochte talking about pissing in the pool notwithstanding -- but watching little Gabby Douglas dig deep and just kill it is my favorite.


PERFECTION

Six no-no's this season, three of them perfect games. Not exactly one 'moment', but a general feeling is evoked when I think of this. This feeling: good god, that is amazing.


THE BUTT FUMBLE

I mean.


SHHHH....



Okay, so this is a slightly different version of this moment than the one you saw on ESPN. This is the the 'how it went in my head' version.


JOSH HAMILTON's FOUR BOMB NIGHT IN BALTIMORE

So memorable I even wrote a short-short story about it. Sort of.


CHRIS KLUWE TAKES A STAND

And introduces the world to the excellently phrased and awesomely memorable, lustful cockmonster.


MAUER GETS BOOED AT TARGET FIELD, I LOSE MY DAMN MIND

Muffinbutt bounced back and had a great 2012 season, thank god. Because I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to handle another rough year -- not in disappointment with Mauer, but with the haters.

So, there we have it.

Sorry, I don't know anything about hockey or golf or much about the NBA not having to do with LeBron James' mouth.

Merry Christmas and HAPPY NEW YEAR, buddies. Ciao.
-christine
     

Hey, It's the World Series

You guys, have I ever told you how much I love Justin Verlander?


I. 
LOVE. 
JUSTIN. 
VERLANDER.

That's all I really have to say right now. I just wanted to make sure you knew.

Ciao, buddies.
-cr.

GO, TIGERS!
   

I'LL ..... BEEEEE ..... GOOOOOOOOONE.....

I wonder how many baseball fans had this same morning I did?

I got up a full hour earlier than planned because I soundly lost today's battle of GET UP vs. NO I DON'T WANT TO with my cat, checked Twitter while peeing, and said WAIT, WHAT?! 

The Nationals lost? 

What a colossal bummer. 

[Obviously, this is not a bummer of any size for Cards fans and, really, good for them (those Cards are seriously tough, especially in do or die playoff situations -- remember last year?), but it's too bad for the rest of us.]

I've just loved those plucky Nats this year, with their big-eared rookies and awesome bullpen.

And I -- we, baseball fans, America! -- will so miss not getting this in the NLCS:

click for a redirect. then click again. 

O well. And, the Orioles are out. So, I guess, GO TIGERS.

Ciao, buddies.

-cr.

  

I KNEW IT !!

I'M SERIOUS RIGHT NOW, I KNEW ICHIRO WAS A NINJA.


Watch this:



I never actually told anyone I knew it, so I can't say I told you so.

But, I totally knew this.

Ichiro is a breakdancing ninja.

I hope to see other players try this now. Like Dustin Pedroia. Or Prince Fielder.


Ciao, buddies.
-christine

p.s., For you, when only a .gif will do:

 

A Partially Really Bad Prediction

Remember when I made a really bold prediction of a massive meltdown coming from either Miami or Detroit this year?

Well, things haven't gone well for the fishies, so I wasn't totally off there. But o my goodness was I wrong about Miguel Cabrera. 

The man, the machine, is one day away from winning a triple crown. (Should I capitalize Triple Crown? I should probably totally capitalize TRIPLE CROWN.)

It would be the first since 1967. That is amazing. 

Really sit and think about it...

We all know that no-nos and perfect games are big deal, but think of how many of those we've seen just the last couple of years alone. 

Aside from those stupid stats that only computer programs or Abed Nadir can come up with, (you know the ones, like... a lefty hasn't hit a grandslam off of a right-handed pitcher on an 92 degree day in September since 1971...) something happening in major league baseball that has not since 1967 is truly remarkable. 

So, best of luck to you, Miggy. I've never been a big fan of... well, you (even though I really like your friend Justin Verlander), but seeing a TRIPLE CROWN sounds pretty swell. Do it to it. 

Ciao, buddies.

-christine

Wake Up, Kids, We're Here

And just like that, my stretch of general boredom with baseball has all but waned. There is some exciting stuff happening as the playoff races narrow, even here in the AL central (GO DETROIT). Actually, really here in the AL central as the Yankees come to town, neck and neck in the AL east with Baltimore, and neck and neck with Texas in the wild card race.

COME ON, Twins, do your part as spoiler. Do it for Baltimore. Do it for Jim Thome. Do it for Cal Ripken Jr. and his baby blues. Do it for Torrey Smith and his brother. Do it for Bodie and Poot. I'm serious.

Do you know other thing that happens this time of year that revives my baseball heart?

It's Major League season.

Really, check your local listings, I bet it's on sometime soon or even right now. Have I ever told you how much I love Major League?  I LOVE MAJOR LEAGUE.

Especially you, Wild Thing Rick Vaughn with your furious power and dubious vision. And, you, Jake Taylor and your creative problem solving and nervy, dare I say ballsy, grit. O no, I haven't forgotten you, Peee-dro Cerrano, and your mystical Jobu and your rum and your big, beautiful... bat. And its hat.

You know what else I love? These lines:

"Look at this fucking guy."

"Well you may run like Mays, but you hit like shit"

"I look like a banker on this."

"Just a bit outside" and "He tried the outside corner and missed" and "Ball 8!"

"How's your wife and my kid?"

"Up your butt, Jobu."

"I guess there's only one thing to do... win the whole fucking thing."

"And the Indians win it, the Indians win it, oh my god, the Indians win it!"

and, my favorite, performed by my cat, Doug:

Ciao, buddies.
-christine

 

Still Winding Around the Back Roads (Off the Beaten Path)

So, Chris Pratt was in Moneyball. That's the only way I can think to make this post even slightly sports-related. I just really wanted to share this video with you. Because I love you.

Ciao, buddies.
-christine

P.S., I'm just assuming you all are Parks & Rec fans because everyone should be. (It's all on Netflix. Just sayin'.)

P.P.S., It just dawned on me that perhaps you haven't seen the previous seasons blooper reels. I am happy to help you with that. The best thing about these gag reels is how you can see just how much ad-libbing goes on -- these guys are brilliant. Enjoy.

An Oldie but a Damn Goody

Remember this? (Remember Phil Dumatrait?)

Ciao, buddies.
-christine

p.s., Did you guys know it's still baseball season?

We're Still Off the Beaten Path for a Bit

This is Terry Crews. You might know him as a former NFL player or you might know him from the BET reality show The Family Crews or you might know him for playing the role of a serious bodyguard with a heart of gold and a surprising knowledge of poetry/art/smart thing in The Newsroom and a hundred other things.

This is Terry Crews playing you music with his muscles.

Ciao, buddies. -christine