A Bold Prediction for 2012

Do you remember this Phillip Wellman meltdown from 2007? 



It's been a while since we've seen anything like this. Odds are, we're due. So, yes, I'm predicting we see an epic meltdown by the end of the 2012 season. Truly, there many potential candidates: Manny. Hamilton. The Beard. Papelbon. Tony Plush. Gardy. Does Milton Bradley still play?

But, for my money, it comes from one of these two places:

Miami.
Detroit.

Seriously.

The Fish are either going to be untouchable or a total train wreck -- I haven't decided what I think yet, but I'm leaning toward wreckage. There hasn't been as much 'dream team' buzz as there was when they were in the hunt for Pujols, which is good news for them. (We all know how dream teams end, right Philly fans?) But there is still a massive burden on them to win big and do it now.

Big off-season moves, a make-it-rain approach to the payroll, and a flashy new stadium with an aquarium back stop = big pressure. Add to this tension big egos and famously volatile personalities = big trouble. Ozzie and Hanley and Zambrano? There's just no way that can end well. Yes Ozzie handled one oversensitive, overgrown baby (cough,Pierzinski) quite well in his own fucking nutty way, but, I don't know... throw Zambrano into the mix and all bets are off. I see trouble, that's all I'm saying.

And then there's Detroit. Don't get me wrong, I like Detroit and I do not want them to implode. I do think they were insane to sign Fielder for nine years, but he is not at all from where I worry the meltdown might come. I mean, not Fielder himself. I imagine a Fielder meltdown ending in giggles and hugs. So, not Fielder himself, but definitely incited by bringing him there. I'll give you a hint: his name rhymes with Ciguel Mabrera. If there was an option in fantasy to pick most-likely-to-provide-the-youtube-mlb-moment-of-2012, I would take him #1.

Ciao, buddies.

-christine


p.s., They tested that bulletproof aquarium glass by having Gaby Sanchez throw balls at it. Fine, but how do you think it will hold up after Carlos Zambrano inevitably takes a bat to it?

p.s.s,

Is there something about playing for Ozzie Guillen that makes dudes dye their hair yellow? Bad. Boo.        

Meet Batting Stance Guy

Hey, do you guys know Batting Stance Guy?

I think I'm late to the party on this guy, but am now a big fan. I ran across him doing some research on an upcoming post on actors-as-baseball players (stay tuned), and just got sucked right in. As you can probably guess, he imitates batting stances (and more-- there's a lot of fun stuff on his site) of what seems like every ballplayer ever, including fictional ones.

He's (hot) not totally perfect, but does quite impressively capture the essence of each stance with both spot-on exaggerations of the tiniest movements and also perfect mirroring of the bigger flares, like bat tosses and twirls, hair flicking, or tongue stickingouting.

I can't even imagine how this skill (talent?) developed or how much baseball this guy has taken in in his life, but watching him has really made me think about batting stances in general. You get so used to seeing them that it's easy to forget the screwy idiosyncrasies each player brings to the plate -- every time.

Here's his take on some Twins players, past and present:



I know! It's funny because it's true. (I laughed out LOUD at Torii Hunter.)

Really though, I think something could be learned from this guy. Teams should hire him. I mean, how could anyone have let Greg Gagne bat that way? Anyway, he does every team just like this, several past and present. Click to his his website above and then sort by team.

Baseball!

Ciao, buddies.
-cr.

p.s., the more I watch this, the more impressed I am, especially with the more subtle moves... Check out his posture on Joe Mauer. It makes me want look at Joe's lovely muffinbutt a little closer (you can take that anyway you want, it's probably true) to see if he's actually arching his back and sticking it out a bit and maybe it's not as gloriously muffiny as it seems. Total America's Next Top Model move, Joe. (Points to anyone who can name it.) I'm pretty sure the only effective way to test this is with my teeth.

   

Grapefruit League Action: Justin, Frankie and Danny

Hey, let's check in on three of the boys with the most spring training buzz. This will be fun.


Justin Morneau -- he's hitting the ball hard, he's moving well, he's skinny, and he's not really playing any first bast at all. Are we seeing his inevitable move to DH this early?

Francisco Liriano -- Frankie is really looking good thus far. But! What a good spring training means or doesn't mean when we're talking about such a stunningly inconsistent ballplayer, I do not know. Even if there was some statistical evidence directly forecasting his performance trend at spring training with that of the season to come (there is not such evidence that I am aware of, for any player), I doubt anyone would believe it. Because even when he is on fire, throwing his nastiest business and for several outings in a row, which he does often, it is impossible to wipe from the brain the too-familiar image of his big sweaty face when he's suddenly in one of those classic Liriano, five-run first innings. You know the face I mean.

Danny Valencia -- first, score one for Danny, the runner-up for "Mr. Manuary" on the MyTalk 107 January brackets. But! He did lose to a weather man, so maybe we don't score one for Danny.

Second, he's killing it right now. Again, spring training doesn't mean much, but it sounds like people are seeing a refreshingly different player out there, both in mechanics (especially defensively) and in attitude and effort, both elements u.g.l.y. last season. I'm really happy to hear this, maybe even more than you are.

See, I love me a hot third baseman. Hey. Girl.
And I believe a team with a hole at third (yes, absolutely including the offensive performance that is downright mandatory in the position) is doing it wrong. The flashes of real baseball chops we saw from 2010 Danny V gave me hope at third for the first time since poor, beautiful Corey Koskie. So, last season's badDanny, who sucked plus seemed to not give two shits that he sucked, drove me craaaaazy. Remember the valuable lesson from Mr. Manuary, Danny-- being hot is not enough. Step it up. Don't get beat by a weather guy.

Baseball!

Ciao, buddies.
-christine

  

Kind of Friday Night Lightsy

If, somehow, you were not yet excited as hell for 2012 baseball before -- watch this:



Then, if, somehow, you are still not excited as hell for baseball... then clearly your cat has been sitting on your chest while you sleep, sucking out your soul. Good luck to you.

Ciao, buddies.
-cr.

*Video by Capture Studios, a Mpls based cinematography company that I had previously never heard of and now I want to shoot everything ever. http://vimeo.com/capturestudios


 

Blogging About Blogs: My Approach to the Madness

There are millions of sports blogs. Thousands just about baseball and many awesome Twins-talking blogs. I wish I had the time to read them all, but if I want any hope of getting anything done ever (like my own baseball blog... how meta, I know!), I try very hard to limit my blog intake to just these. Well, and Twitter and Bleacher Report and ESPN and the MLB network and Yardbarker... sigh.

Try these:

Fifty Rows Up by C Lee Tressel
This (sports in general) blogger is a friend, a wonderful writer and just as lovely of a person, and the best kind of sports writer : she knows it all without being a know-it-all. She can write about any and all sports, can translate the every day moments into a larger-picture significance that makes each post feel like a life lesson. She writes often, yet every post shows a keen thoughtfulness and craft that seems impossible to turn around so quickly... unless you know her, in which case you know that is just how her mind works.

Knuckleballs (Like Butterflies with Hiccups)
A Twins-centric, collective blog, hosted by three smarty-pants baseball fans, one of whom is my cousin ("capitalbabs"). Oddly enough, I haven't actually seen her in many years, but thanks to the faceplace and tweet machine and the blogging, I think we're nearly as connected as we were in my favorite memory of us, which is a blurry scene in my mind involving a tent in, I think, her front yard, a flashlight, and The Tell-Tale Heart. She read, I gasped. I don't think I got any sleep that night, wherever we were, but, hellsyeah, it was awesome.


Aaron Gleeman
A one-stop-shop go to for every happening in and around Twins Territory (and essentially every territory ever, from podcasts and TV and Jay-Z and recipes to Souhan and SABR and comedians and Kenny Powers. Gleeman also seems to be as fond of/appalled by Ozzie Guillen as I am, which is fun. BEWARE: The 'link-o-rama" will time-suck your life away.)

Babes Love Baseball
Witty chicks talking about baseball. Season preview poems, great pics, gossip, snark, perfect. Plus, via Babes, you can find a list of other lady baseball bloggers. Go, grrrls.

And then there is, of course, the late, great Bat-Girl blog -- my first blog obsession and still the best baseball blog ever. Ever! It's also the first, and hopefully only, blog about which the news of its closing actually made me cry. This blog, and it's author (whom I now very proudly know and get to spend time with in real life) is also responsible for one of the most embarrassing moments in my professional life when I LOUDLY Bieber-screamed upon finding out we were hiring her as a new faculty member. I just sputtered "bat girl? are you serious? BAT GIRL! shut up!" for five minutes until the dean told me I should maybe go take a walk.


I've missed dozens, I know. Please feel free to comment and share them-- if not for me, for others. Won't somebody please think of the children.

Ciao, buddies!
-christine

P.S.,  BATGIRL is on Twitter! Just as sassy and smart, only in limited characters. @twinsbatgirl
 
P.P.S. Glen Perkins is the funniest of the Twins who tweet, by the way. Perhaps an upcoming post with tweet faves...