Monday, April 25, 2011

Boys, Bunnies and Dim Sum

 

Well, I hope everyone had a fun, sunny and peep-tastic Easter. The Vickster and I enjoyed a WONDERFUL Sunday Funday downtown on our forever-quest of making our own holiday traditions (and then enjoying the snot out of them). As usual, mission accomplished. 


DIM SUM HOTTIES

Weirdly, I've yet to eat any food at Target Field this season so have no ballpark food news or reviews for you. We keep filling up on stadium-adjacent food before the games, woopsie. Next game, we will mos def be hitting the TF vendors.

We hit Thom Pham's Wonderous Azian Kitchen for the Sunday dim sum brunch before the game. The place was hopping (like a bunny. an easter bunny. get it? hopping.), full of hungry white people dressed in everything from full Twins gear to full bicyclist's spandex to white lace bonnets. Oddly, there was also a couple in full Brewer's gear. I don't know.

The dim sum was pretty great. I can't give it a full thumbs up as there were a couple of items that fell flat for both of us, being either under-seasoned or too oily. The crab balls (above) were pretty amazing, as were the steamed pork buns, the sweet & spicy rib tip soup, the spring rolls, and the curry chicken wings.

Even better than what came on the tiny plate was what delivered them.

Listen up, there are some super hotties working the carts for the dim sum brunch. The soup guy and the steamed guy were easily the most delicious items of the day, and those curry chicken wings were amazing.



REPORT FROM 227

Well, it wasn't the sexiest win, but we'll take it.

The vibe at Target Field was pretty spectacular with revelers clearly enjoying the desperately needed warm weather as much as the game. Watching both Casilla and Morneau inexplicably rounding third on their way obvious outs at home was less painful when done while basking in the sun. On a cloudy day, I probably would have made a swear or two, but in the glorious sunshine I was more like, aw cute, look at them running right into the catcher's open arms for a big bear hug.



Other highlights:

- Morneau's clutch hitting was a sight for 80,000 sore eyes. The crack off his big bat on that giant double was just thunderous. And super sexy.

- Less sexy but just as awesome: Thome digging in and running out a double when a single is all that's ever expected of him unless the ball is out on the plaza somewhere. His effort was appreciated with applause and quite a few giggles.
- A simple, but well-executed, sac bunt by Repko was also loudly applauded, in a totally heartfelt way. It was one of my favorite moments of the game. Like we were saying... remember how this offense thing works, guys?

- Kubel continues to pwn everyone.

-- The homerun review in the 4th was another great moment. It was kind of a long break in the action, but they threw on some MJ to pass the time. I enjoyed watching Pavano working on his stuff the whole time instead of just standing around. Good work, Carl.



So, I guess I'm feeling pretty good right now, much better than a week ago. I'm not super excited to see Tampa Bay again so soon, but am really relieved we won't have to face Big Game James Shields, who's ass is on fiah right now.

Ciao, buddies.
-cr.

p.s., In honor of Vinnie's great ballplayer name post, here's a little Coco Crisp in his full 'fro glory.


(I am very much not a Coco fan... his hair, however, I'm quite fond of.)

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

My favorite non-Twin: Albert Pujols

I was going to do this big long player profile type of post about my favorite non-Twin ballplayer -- the amazing, beastly, beautiful Albert Pujols -- but I think I'll just let this 60 Minutes profile do the talking.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

GUEST BLOGGER! Vinnie Malone's Talkin' Boy Names

Note from Christine: Please welcome the first of hopefully many more guest blogger entries. I am completely open to this, so if you have something to say, send it my way (e-mail please). Ladies and gentleman, my friend, "Vinnie Malone," the lovely and sportstastic, Meghan Maloney-Vinz.

The Boys of Summer: Naming the Boy

I’ve always been intrigued with the baseball name culture, and don’t even try to tell me there’s not one… there is, and I’ll prove it. Though I’m not sure exactly why, there is definitely a certain boyish, playfulness in a baseball name, and I like it.

Young Vinnie Malone
I feel especially cued into this as I am about to decree a new name onto the world myself; Lisa and are expecting the arrival of our second child at the end of the summer and, as I told Maeve (the big sister to be), aside from life, your name is the most special gift your parents can give you. So I think a name is just a little significant. And while we’ve chosen our names, both boy and girl respectively, and they shall remain under wraps until the first cry, I can’t help but try on some of these baseball names should there be a boy wonder Maloney-Vinz. And there’s my first strike: no baseball player has a hyphenated last name. Our boy (should indeed there be a boy) is destined to acting for the CW, running cross-country, playing lacross, the math team, maybe a novel or two, but if baseball is all in the name, and I think it is, then the major league is not in our future.

So what does it take, aside from the obvious statistics, dented aluminum bats and broken windows as a kid? Well, it actually takes one of one four names. A boy named Brian, Brandon, Jason or Brett it turns out is most likely to be on an MLB roster. In fact there are only 3 teams who don’t have at least one dude named Brian/Brandon/Jason/Brett. Crazy right? [Dodgers, DBacks and Cubs]

*Runners up in the most popular baseball name category are Cory/Cody, Trevor, Travis and Troy, and Jake.

What then, you may ask, should I do if I have a four year old who shows promise behind the tee ball plate? Well, the obvious answer is to add a “y” to the end of his name. That’s right, in the MLB there is a disproportionate number of grown men running around with names like, Bobby, Ricky, Tommy, Jimmy, Joey, Freddy, Vinnie, Donny, Jamie and Ronny. (Not unlike NASCAR, I might add… it’s as though if you are driving a car or chasing a ball, you get to stay a boy forever.)

Another naming tip for your baseball protégé, and this especially works well for a name beginning with a “J”, is the abbreviation. There is no other professional sport where this is used more than baseball. Think about it. JJ Hardy, JJ Putz, AJ Pierzynski, JC Ramirez, the list goes on and on. All told, I count sixteen professional ball players employing the first name abbreviation technique. And only two of them, sans “J”: RA Dickey and CC Sabathia.

There are, of course the standard names that are just as prevalent in baseball as in say, a law firm. I’m talking about the Matts, the Marks, the Erics, Brads, Craigs, Kyles, Chrises, Ryans and the occasional Mitch. And in this bunch, Casey and Josh seem to stand out with best baseball potential.

This is actually an interesting category. A guy’s name (indeed many names- boy or girl) is often chosen for transition. A formal name is given at birth and is immediately shortened or cutened. Sometimes that cutened name survives through high school or college, but on that first resume and in that first interview, the former, formal name or a “man” version of the name is adopted. But not in baseball. Robert on the birth certificate, Bobby in the crib, and Bobby on the mound. Robert, the accountant, is Robert on the birth certificate, Bobby in the crib, and then there is an awkward decade in his twenties when half of his hometown buddies call him Bob and the work dudes call him Rob. 

In baseball, you never have to be older than ten. A ten year old with super strength and a multi-million dollar paycheck. Cool.

In comparison, NFL guys stick with there formal names ALL THE WAY. These dudes do not want to be seen as boys, ever. Not many Bobbys in the NFL, but there are Roberts. And Michael and Phillip, and Lawrence, and James. Matthew, David, Richard, Curtis, and Marcus. And is there a Tyrone in baseball? What about an Antoine? Not many Chads or Quentins either. Shawn, Paul, Tom, and Jonathan round out NFL names; future pastors, small business owners, and new car salesmen, every one of them.

There are the few cross-overs. The names that just seem to say Professional Athlete. Again and again, Brandon is a winner. So is Jason (especially if spelled with a “y”), Brian and Craig. And Reggie, Ricky, Kyle, or Jake seem to be safe, potential SI cover worthy names as well.

But all told, there is nothing like a real baseball name. The ones that barely resemble any given name. I mean, what is Chipper Jones’s actual name, the one on the birth certificate? And how did he get “Chipper”? There are the good, but somewhat mild baseball names, Dusty Hughes, Sandy Alderson, Hank, Conger, JoJo Reyes… and then there are the Chippers; names that somehow hearken back to the glory days of baseball; names that a kid gets only after crashing through every picture window on the block by the age of three.  I’m talking about Bud Norris, CoCo Crisp, Skip Schumaker and my two favorites: Homer Bailey and Buster Posey.

They are perfect. Boyish and super hero all at once. I know Homer isn’t a nickname, it’s just a perfect name… I mean he has to hit a… well, you know, every time. Has to. And Buster?! Where does that even come from? He has to be a dog or a catcher. Period.

Finally, I just want to mention the four baseball names that stand alone. I’d like to congratulate Prince, Elvis, Casper and even Alejandro (in large thanks to Lady GaGa) for making it to, and thriving in, the majors. Your name was against you, and you prevailed. Rally cap off to you, boys. Really.

- Vinnie Malone
(my best attempt at a baseball persona)

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

This Early, It's Still Tryouts

We're nearly ten games in, let's rehash.

Uh, it's not great. But, please girl, no freaking out (Red Sox Nation). The Twins pretty consistently take a while to figure out which end of the bat is the ball-hitting end and that "doubled off" is means something different than something you can pay for at Sheiks. 

Not to worry about: Mauer, Morneau, Thome, Span, Kubel, Valencia, Young*, Pavano, Nathan, Capps.

To mostly not worry about: Duensing, Cuddyer, Liriano, Tolbert, Hughes, Hughes, Nishioka, Butera, Slowey.

Worry: Casilla, Baker, Blackburn, Perkins, Manship, Mijares, Burnett.

Clearly, the middle relief is an issue; To this, I say no shit and will move on. Baker and Blackburn I always worry about, so really a null point. That leaves Casilla. If this were a vlog, you would have witnessed a sigh and eye roll, which is my habitual reaction to whoever is playing the role of Gardy's little hustle pet. You know him, the guy whose only consistency is hitting below .190, but gets a pass because Gardy clearly has a soft spot for the scrapper with a big heart.

(Okay, let's just get this out the way early... Yes, I'm sideways shit-talking Punto, and this is not likely to be my only swipe. In darker days, my eyes have rolled so far back in my head at the mere mention of Punto's name, I've nearly shot a contact across the room. I'm still haunted by the popped up bunts, inexplicable base running, blooper-worthy high hacks at balls in the dirt and, god, the head-first slides. But, buddies, I will try to take it easy and not be too harsh on the Punto as I know that tenderness for the little guy runs deep around these parts.)


Casilla is okay defensively; has pretty good range, but his arm is an issue. As is his head. I'm just not sure he has the wits; I swear, he just looks lost out there. A lot. It's the only thing he's consistent about. He's quick on the bases, but not aggressive enough-- or he forces it. And then there's the batting. Long story short, I'd rather see Tolbert in the lineup any day. But, I'm not super worried about this. As my trusted work/sports buddy, Meghan, wisely reminded me today: This early, it's still tryouts.


Home opener recap: It was awesome. 


The game and all its 8th and 9th inning glory has been pretty thoroughly detailed, so I'll skip that and move on to the most important news:

There is a Summit stand just as close to our new seats as one was to our old seats. Phew. I know.

The new right field screen is a great addition-- thumbs up. HD, larger size than I anticipated, full of little trivia nuggets about the boys. For example, did you know that Kubel drives a Hummer? I would have figured him for a Ford F-150 guy.

The new tower is okay.

Music: It's better. I'd say whoever is in charge of it is 20 years younger or enough people said... seriously, if I hear Shout one more time, I will jump off the Budweiser Roof Deck.

The Vickster (my lovely mother and my partner in crime at Target Field, whom you will officially meet soon) took a lot of great pics with her new Canon. I'll share these with you soon.

O, and we ate and drank too much at the pre-game festivities at Smalley's to try any of the new food. Updates later.


Ciao, buddies.
-cr.

Footnotes

*Being a Delmon "The Tongue" Young believer since the start, even when it was a pretty ridiculous stance, it brings me joy to put him on the not worried list. Delmon will have a huge season. Callin' it.


I know baby, it makes me excited, too.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Happy Home Opener Eve!


Hopefully, you've all been given the day off tomorrow as it's a national holiday. I hope to see everyone hanging out downtown, tickets to the game or not. It looks like we're in for a lovely day, weather wise. Fantastic. I'm really excited to see Target Field again, if only for the verdant blanket of luscious grass, which, mingling with the scent of sausages and 40,000 strangers, signals: Spring is here.


So, with the rain out in NY Wednesday night, we get Pavano for the home opener, which is fantastic; but- what does that mean for the catcher situation? Has this been resolved yet? Butera tends to catch Pavano, but I'm assuming the powers that be know they have to give the masses what they want. Mauer.
I see Souhan is trying to tell me Pavano and Butera aren't boyfriends after all and they just keep randomly getting paired up-? In fact, it was about 50/50 Butera and Mauer catching the Pavs last season with no real difference in performance. That's news to me. Maybe it was early on that way, but now they've really found a thing that works and I don't think it's going anywhere. Carl + Drew = Forever.




But for the home opener, I don't know... I bet we see Mauer. The Twins really need a win and we need Mauer's bat in the lineup. And I would prefer to see his muffinbutt behind the plate. Sorry Drewrl.

Ciao, buddies!
-christine

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

If Only the People Who Think I Don't Pray Could See Me Now

Three outs, fellas. Come on now. Three outs to one of those wins we'll look back at and declare it meant something more than a mere big W.

Hey look at me. I guess I'm live blogging.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Everything in Its Right Place

The fever and frenzy of opening weekend is under our collective belts and, once we open the home season on Friday, we will start to settle in to the trusted constancy -- dare I say, ordinariness -- of baseball season in all its enduring glory. I say ordinary in the best possible context; the steady consistency of daily ballgames is nothing short of sacrosanct for me. For many, I'm sure.

I can already feel my productivity level accelerating. I kind of forgot, until about the 2nd inning today, how well I work to the so sweet melody of baseball talk. TV or radio, Twins or Tigers, Baseball Tonight or Quick Pitch, it really works for me. 8 out of 10 writers agree.

The Twins had a productive day today as well. And thank the sweet lord for that. It was getting a little groan-worthy there, wasn't it? It kind of felt like a big win to me today; nothing to do with standings or whatever, it is far too early for any of that hand-wringing, but because you could actually see the boys waking up a little. I was worried they weren't aware the season had actually started and were thinking this was some kind of ceremonial border-battle exhibition or something.

So, phew.


Speaking of phew, I also kind of forgot how stressful it is to watch Nathan close a tight game.
Punishing. Yet, invigorating. That boy is sweatier than a whore in church. (Yup, a Sookie Stackhouse-ism. And it might not be my last. Deal with it.)

Other high-on-the-hottie-meter news from opening weekend:

-- Matt Kemp is off to blistering start. I bet he has a big year.

-- Evan Longoria on the DL for an oblique strain, the injury du jour of 2011.

-- Brian Wilson threw a simulated game and looked good (really fucking good) and should see some action soon.




Next up: Yankees. Oh, goody. And by goody, I mean, ack.

p.s., it sounds like people are having issues with commenting. A tip: if you don't have an account with one of the sites listed as an option (google the most popular) and don't want to create one, you can post as anonymous. Just make sure to select that option.