Breaking News: Busted Buster Causes (me to) Panic

I know I am not alone in baseball nation when I say that I am a sad panda over the Buster Posey collision and broken leg from Wednesday. 

> watch video here (but be prepared to clench various body parts)

I have to say, this was really, really rough to watch. Not just because of the incredible pain you see poor Buster in as that leg goes a direction it is not meant to go before going full rag doll. And not just because you feel for Cousins as he immediately knows what just happened (he probably heard it break). And not just because it's Buster Posey and you have to love Buster Posey. Also because... as a Twins fan, doesn't this just strike fear straight into your soul?

You know where I'm going with this. Don't make me say it.


See, I've not before all that seriously entertained the chatter about moving Mauer from catcher, at least not in the immediate future. I know it's inevitable down the road, uh huh yeah yeah, but... I don't know, watching this, and hearing guttural wails of true pain coming from Giants fans, something has shifted in my thinking.

It was a clean hit, true; it's part of the game, absolutely. That is why I'm freaked out. Hits like that, in that position in particular, can and have been career-enders. There I said it.

I know I'm being dramatic and letting sentiment trump the game itself, but my god man, can you imagine? Joe Mauer is the pride of our state, one of its greatest treasures. And for good reason. I'm not sure we could handle it as a team, as a state. Okay, maybe I couldn't handle it and the rest of you guys would be fine, but I doubt that. I mean, we don't let people pollute our 10,000 lakes. We don't let Garrison Keilor do any national media. We don't send Sven out to chase tornadoes. I don't think we even let Prince leave his house.

OK, I kid. Kind of.

Ciao.
-cr.

Find The Fun (and you don't have to look far).

Jim Crikket @ Knuckleballs Blog has a great post called "Being a Fan: It's Not Always Easy." It's a great post and everyone should read it right now. Go.

Welcome back.

Good, eh?

"I’ve always said, and still believe today, that the worst day at a ballgame is better than the best day just about anywhere else," Jim says.

I love that. And want everyone to remember it. Not that I think any of the real Twins fans I know would just give up on the Twins or lose interest all together, but Jim's point about finding ways to enjoy watching the Twins right now is a very good one.

Remember that baseball is fun.

For me, baseball isn't a sport that's only fun when you win. Sure, you find yourself nonplussed and frustrated when things go as terribly poor as they have been for the Twins lately (and it has been bad-- I am not intending to leave that unacknowledged. It's been a turd fest.), but ... hey, it's still a fun game.

It's baseball. It's still 9 innings in which each at-bat means anything can happen. It's still full of great sports moments -- some epic, Friday Night Lights-worthy, and some tiny, blink and you miss it -- drama, humor and interesting personal narratives. All of this you pick up and enjoy when you are a fan and you follow your team.

It's still a great show. And better than Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior.


So, find the fun. Maybe don't follow just the Twins right now-- check in on some other teams, winning ones if that's what you need, watch Baseball Tonight from time to time (or at least the last 5 minutes for web gems.)


And do these things:

• Go to Target Field. It's still awesome. The food is just as good, the beer just as cold. The view is as lovely as ever. Twins fans are awesome and keep it fun. Trevor Plouffe has a Kings of Leon song for his walk-up music. Just go.
  

• Speaking of great views, don't forget to enjoy it, if you know what I mean. Even Mauer-less, the Twins still have a pretty hot lineup. Not sure where to start? Begin with Danny "Hide Your Daughters" Valencia at third and work your way around the horn. Huh, that sounded dirtier than I meant. Maybe.
  
  
• Watch/listen to every game and notice all the gaytastic sounding terms. Imagine your gay male friends' cheeky grins when you hear Jason got some good wood on it, Thome goes deep, Carl got in there with a backdoor slider, Span stroked one up the middle...
  
  
• Go ahead and yell at your TV. It really does make you feel better. Especially if you yell old timey profanities like MY STARS AND GARTERS, DELMON, RUN!
  
  
  
• Drink heavily.

Ciao, buddies.
-cr.

Welcome Back, Thome.

We Really Missed You.

You are more awesome than pockets.

Any chance you pitch?

Ciao.
-cr.

The Twins finally start winning and now it's the rapture? Not fair.

At least judgment day comes pretty early in the season so we'll have plenty of time to rebuild.

Where did Joe go? Up there?

I imagine we'll still have Morneau (I think God is probably still angry at Canada for Avril Lavigne and Brendan Fraser) so we can build our team around him. Pavano has obviously sold his soul to his mustache, since without it he has kind of sucked. So he'll be around.Valencia, too. Something about that wicked grin... you just know he's a heathen and half.

You know, we might have to combine the Twins players left behind with those few from other teams and create a new (super badass) team. Baseball will take a big hit post-rapture, not just because it's hard to field grounders on brimstone and locusts, but just think how few players will remain-- I mean, all those Latin players are probably Catholic, right? There's a lot of pointing to the sky and kissing crosses out there.
  
So, who else gets a spot on the Left Behinders?

Josh Hamilton, of course. Duh. I think Ian Kinsler and Ryan Braun are both Jewish; and there's something distinctly devil-worshipy about Chipper Jones-- we'll take 'em all. Brandon Inge, definitely. Just because of those terrible forearm tattoos. And I'm fine with Ozzie Guillen as our manager.

We'll have to build a really strong team to take on the Yankees, who certainly will be entirely intact. 

Ciao, buddies. Good luck out there.
-cr.

At Least It's Sunny. Today.

Hi, Twinsfans.

I'm sorry about the lack of posts lately. I'm not fond of bitching about the team I love, it just depresses me too much, so... yeah, I guess that just doesn't leave a lot else to say right now. I do believe it will get better, but we really need to catch some breaks and string together a few wins. And we really need to figure out the pitching situation. And we really need to see Joe Mauer. And we really need to go deeper into at-bats. And we really need to at least win at home once in a while.

Anyway. I promise to write more, albeit probably not Twins related. In the meantime, check out this wacky wild fan getaway in Houston. This just might end up being the highlight of the Astros season.



Maybe I'll pull something like this next time I'm at Target Field, just to get people laughing again. I'll wear a cape though.

Ciao, buddies.
-cr.

That's a Balk on Verlander... Right?

Two off days this week, sandwiching two wins -- one of which being a really F-wording huge win -- should translate into somewhat of a restart, right?  So, ctrl+alt+delete your shit and let's go.

Now we head to Fenway for four pretty big games. Boston has pulled it together of late and are playing some pretty good ball.  They are far from scary, but... shit, yo, I'd feel much better @ Fenway with Muffinbutt in the lineup-- seriously, Mauer could work that shallow field like Obama on Trump. But, even though Holm has been optioned to Rochester, don't get your hopes up... Mauerless we remain.

In the meantime, please enjoy the baseball moment that, for my money, is the funniest of the season thus far. I can't even explain it, nor can Justin Verlander; but I can laugh and laugh and laugh at it.

And laugh at it.

Ciao, buddies.

-christine

Oh No No He Didn't (sorry)

(Reuters) - Minnesota left-hander Francisco Liriano pitched the first no-hitter of the Major League Baseball season on Tuesday to give the Twins a 1-0 win over the Chicago White Sox.

Excuse me?

You must mean Francisco Rodriguez. No, wait, he's a closer. 

Ben Francisco? I think he plays left field, so probably not. 

Fransisco Pizzaro, maybe?


What I'm saying is: this is surprising. Shocking. Flabbergastastic.

There's no one in the Twins rotation, in most of the league in all honesty, that I would expect a no no from less than Liriano. Not just because he's having a particularly rough time of it lately (9.13 ERA going into tonight, all speculation that Slowey might replace him come Monday), but more so because... well, I'm not sure I've ever seen this guy throw a complete game. Somewhere around the 6th or 7th he's usually huffing and puffing like he chased a chicken up eight flights of stairs, his pitches are up, and flying over fences. I don't think I've seen him go over 100 pitches since the Bush Administration.


I'm not saying Liriano is back to old form and everything is fine now... 6 walks, 2 strikeouts, only one run, and all that. Tonight might have been about as ugly as a no hitter can look -- but, really, a no hitter is never ugly; some are just prettier than others, like Baldwin brothers.


Anyway, this is stunning. And this is awesome. A beautiful achievement for Frankie and gleeful surprise for the rest of us. Hopefully, this is also somewhat of momentum- and a luck-changer (or at least the perception of a luck-changer, which, in the mad and glorious head game of baseball, can be as much of a real luck/momentum-changer as an offering to Jobu.

So, maybe it wasn't Billy or Alec Baldwin. Maybe it's crazy Stephen or bloated, old Daniel-- but I bet we'll still take it. 

Yay. Balls (and strikes) forever.
-christine.

P.S., Liriano owes some homies a cerveza or two... Danny Valencia for that super sexy defensive showstopper, Morneau for great digs, and Jim Joyce for making it impossible for any first base ump to ever give a close call to the runner when a no no is in play.

Let's All Agree to Pretend May Starts Tomorrow