The Twins finally start winning and now it's the rapture? Not fair.

At least judgment day comes pretty early in the season so we'll have plenty of time to rebuild.

Where did Joe go? Up there?

I imagine we'll still have Morneau (I think God is probably still angry at Canada for Avril Lavigne and Brendan Fraser) so we can build our team around him. Pavano has obviously sold his soul to his mustache, since without it he has kind of sucked. So he'll be around.Valencia, too. Something about that wicked grin... you just know he's a heathen and half.

You know, we might have to combine the Twins players left behind with those few from other teams and create a new (super badass) team. Baseball will take a big hit post-rapture, not just because it's hard to field grounders on brimstone and locusts, but just think how few players will remain-- I mean, all those Latin players are probably Catholic, right? There's a lot of pointing to the sky and kissing crosses out there.
  
So, who else gets a spot on the Left Behinders?

Josh Hamilton, of course. Duh. I think Ian Kinsler and Ryan Braun are both Jewish; and there's something distinctly devil-worshipy about Chipper Jones-- we'll take 'em all. Brandon Inge, definitely. Just because of those terrible forearm tattoos. And I'm fine with Ozzie Guillen as our manager.

We'll have to build a really strong team to take on the Yankees, who certainly will be entirely intact. 

Ciao, buddies. Good luck out there.
-cr.