Just a Little All Star Break Catch-You-Up

I'm just going to go ahead and take my beautiful, bold, bossy, blogger-buddy Kate's advice and not apologize for my total lack of posts. So, let's start now, ok? OK.

The All Star game is coming up next week, which brings us all short, but vital breather midway through the sometimes soooooo very, very long baseball season - - and this is one of those sooooo very, very long type of seasons for Twins fans.

So, in case you don't follow MLB at all and only get your baseball 'information' from this blog (that would be incredibly silly, please don't do this), how about we do SIG Baseball's Take on the Top 5 Stories from the first half of the season.


1. the MARIANO RIVERA RETIREMENT TOUR

Hands down, my favorite story in baseball. Mariano Rivera is the best closer the game has ever seen, truly baseball royalty, and he is also one of the classiest, kindest, coolest dudes the game could ever imagine. To see him received in ballparks across the country with the enthusiastic reverence he deserves for his final year -- and to watch him so modestly and earnestly moved with each offering, each ovation -- has been sensational. I could go on and on about Mariano, and I probably will. Stay tuned.

Twins tie-in to the Mariano Rivera Retirement Tour: probably the perfect parting gift possible.


2.  the ROOKIE PHENOM

And there is always a rookie phenom or two that dominates the coverage (the last few years dominating coverage to the point that you are already exhausted by said phenom before they can even hit their sophomore slump).

This year's RP: the Dodgers' Yasiel Puig. Puig had a sick opening month to his major league career, batting .436 with 7 home runs and 44 hits in 26 games. He narrowly lost out an ASG spot in a final ballot vote, but will probably still end up there. He's huge, twenty-two, hits monster homeruns, and has a mysterious backstory as a Cuban defector. He has an awesome name and he balls so hard.

(But, does this add up to anything more than YP's turn as the next big thing? That's a clown question, bro.)

Twins version of Yasiel Puig: Oswaldo Arcia, who also has an awesome name (and excellent hair).


3. these PIRATES ARRRRR FOR REAL

I like these Pirates a lot. After twenty years of losing seasons, they've quietly and efficiently built a strong young team with real offensive and starting pitching depth, solid defense, and a stellar bullpen called the "shark tank" (with an actual shark tank). They have Andrew McCutchen and now Russell Martin. They're packing PNC Park and their merch is selling like crazy; even if they fall off the second half like they have the last two years, I think the trend of good baseball again in Pittsburgh is for real and I am on board, captain.

Twins tie-in: Yes, that is Francisco Liriano. He seems to have recovered his slider and maybe his career in Pittsburgh. Good for you, Frankie.


4. A-ROD and RYAN BRAUN WERE PROBABLY BOTH DOPING, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT A-ROD ANYMORE

The newest round of doping drama broke in June and I haven't heard much more about it since then, but I'm guessing big news is coming soon. Stop me if you've heard this before... illegal performance enhancing drugs, a list of players to be named and then suspended, Alex Rodriguez, lawyers, blah blah.

The Ryan Braun implication is bigger news to me since a) he had a previous positive test overturned on a procedural appeal last year (and, with his ugly attitude about it all, has burned all the good will he once had piles) of and, 2) nobody give as shit about A-Rod anymore.  Bad news, good news, I guess.


and, most importantly...



5. JOE MAUER IS WEARING A LOT MORE STUBBLE THIS YEAR

No word yet on my request for tighter pants, but this'll do, Joe. This'll do.


Ciao, buddies!
-christine

 

The Good, The Not Quite There Yet, and The Bad, Take 2

I know. I've been a bad blogger lately-- no new posts in nearly a month. But, to be fair, it's been a really busy month. For me, I mean. For the Twins it's mostly just been more of the same. So, I'll skip the recapping and instead do a quick (sorry, still really busy over herrre) version of feature: the good, the not quite there yet, and the ugly.

THE GOOD

The Twins are making moves. Valencia is down, Liriano is in the bullpen, Clete Thomas is already gone, some other guys I've never really heard of are doing things. I think the roster shake ups are good for the Twins right now. Hey, at least we're trying something-- and a couple of the moves are looking good so far. I'm talking to you Scott Diamond and Brian Dozier.

Other good:

Matt Capps is acting like a real MLB closer.

Jamey Carroll's glorious trucker 'stache he rocked for awhile. (Bring that shit back, Jamey with a y. It makes your face look much less young Dafoe-ish.)

MY, NACHO, BALLS.

THE NOT QUITE THERE YET

The Valenti's mega stuffed meatball = one of the most popular new culinary kids on the block at Target Field. SIG Baseball mom and I split one and we liked it. But just liked it.

The meat has some nice flavors and the sauce is tangy, but the mozz it is "stuffed" with is mostly nonexistent and flavorless. I'd rather see it stuffed with ricotta or not stuffed at all. It was also a little dry and could use some fresh herbs in a bad way.
I think I'd rather have it as a hoagie with melted cheese on top.  Yes, I would definitely rather have that hoagie style.

Also, come on -- a big Italian meatball? That's pretty uninspired if you ask me. And you should ask me; I am seriously into meatballs. Buffalo chicken balls, nacho balls, goat balls stuffed with olives stuffed with ginger, sweet balls, butter balls, turkey and dressing balls in cranberry mushroom sauce, brat balls... this kind of thing is the future the now of meatballs.

Work on your balls, guys.

THE UGLY

Dear Trevor,

You cannot face King Felix, or anyone else for that matter, with a curly Tom Brady bob and expect him, or anyone else for that matter, to take you seriously as a person.

Thank you.

p.s., There also might be a few little issues with your offense. And your defense. Oh, yeah, and your hair.

 
BREAKING NEWS: Plouffe cut off his curls for Locks of Love, tweeting:

"Donating in honor of my mother, Diane," Plouffe (@TPlouffe24) tweeted. "She's a Breast cancer survivor who lost her hair during the chemo. Love her!"

So. I'm a dick. 

Now I'm not even in the mood to say other mean things about Plouffe or tell you how the awesome Larry Sutin called him "The Plouffinator" and I laughed for a week. Well played, Plouffe. 

Well, woopsie, I guess this post isn't so short after all. Who knew I had so to say about meatballs (besides anyone who has ever met me).

Ciao, buddies!

-cr.

p.s., This is so insanely, adorably baseball-nerdy I can hardly stand it. And, honestly, if I didn't believe that Rivera will indeed come back next season, it would probably make me weep.