Just a Little All Star Break Catch-You-Up

I'm just going to go ahead and take my beautiful, bold, bossy, blogger-buddy Kate's advice and not apologize for my total lack of posts. So, let's start now, ok? OK.

The All Star game is coming up next week, which brings us all short, but vital breather midway through the sometimes soooooo very, very long baseball season - - and this is one of those sooooo very, very long type of seasons for Twins fans.

So, in case you don't follow MLB at all and only get your baseball 'information' from this blog (that would be incredibly silly, please don't do this), how about we do SIG Baseball's Take on the Top 5 Stories from the first half of the season.


1. the MARIANO RIVERA RETIREMENT TOUR

Hands down, my favorite story in baseball. Mariano Rivera is the best closer the game has ever seen, truly baseball royalty, and he is also one of the classiest, kindest, coolest dudes the game could ever imagine. To see him received in ballparks across the country with the enthusiastic reverence he deserves for his final year -- and to watch him so modestly and earnestly moved with each offering, each ovation -- has been sensational. I could go on and on about Mariano, and I probably will. Stay tuned.

Twins tie-in to the Mariano Rivera Retirement Tour: probably the perfect parting gift possible.


2.  the ROOKIE PHENOM

And there is always a rookie phenom or two that dominates the coverage (the last few years dominating coverage to the point that you are already exhausted by said phenom before they can even hit their sophomore slump).

This year's RP: the Dodgers' Yasiel Puig. Puig had a sick opening month to his major league career, batting .436 with 7 home runs and 44 hits in 26 games. He narrowly lost out an ASG spot in a final ballot vote, but will probably still end up there. He's huge, twenty-two, hits monster homeruns, and has a mysterious backstory as a Cuban defector. He has an awesome name and he balls so hard.

(But, does this add up to anything more than YP's turn as the next big thing? That's a clown question, bro.)

Twins version of Yasiel Puig: Oswaldo Arcia, who also has an awesome name (and excellent hair).


3. these PIRATES ARRRRR FOR REAL

I like these Pirates a lot. After twenty years of losing seasons, they've quietly and efficiently built a strong young team with real offensive and starting pitching depth, solid defense, and a stellar bullpen called the "shark tank" (with an actual shark tank). They have Andrew McCutchen and now Russell Martin. They're packing PNC Park and their merch is selling like crazy; even if they fall off the second half like they have the last two years, I think the trend of good baseball again in Pittsburgh is for real and I am on board, captain.

Twins tie-in: Yes, that is Francisco Liriano. He seems to have recovered his slider and maybe his career in Pittsburgh. Good for you, Frankie.


4. A-ROD and RYAN BRAUN WERE PROBABLY BOTH DOPING, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT A-ROD ANYMORE

The newest round of doping drama broke in June and I haven't heard much more about it since then, but I'm guessing big news is coming soon. Stop me if you've heard this before... illegal performance enhancing drugs, a list of players to be named and then suspended, Alex Rodriguez, lawyers, blah blah.

The Ryan Braun implication is bigger news to me since a) he had a previous positive test overturned on a procedural appeal last year (and, with his ugly attitude about it all, has burned all the good will he once had piles) of and, 2) nobody give as shit about A-Rod anymore.  Bad news, good news, I guess.


and, most importantly...



5. JOE MAUER IS WEARING A LOT MORE STUBBLE THIS YEAR

No word yet on my request for tighter pants, but this'll do, Joe. This'll do.


Ciao, buddies!
-christine

 

Bad Apples: How the Number 23 is Ruined for Me Forever

I don't know about you, but I cringed a little when I heard Mauer would be the lonely Twins cowboy saddling up for Kansas City next week. And not because I don't think he deserves to be there -- not for a  hot second.  No, I cringed because, before I could even finish reading the tweet, I could already hear the haters getting their hate on. 

And hate on they did. It was predictable and silly, and also nicely handled in this Twins Daily piece that I totally agree with and will let (along with all kinds of other more recent articles, finally!) provide all of the statistical analysis needed to prove the very no shit! point that hating on Mauer this season is so ridic ridiculous that I'm totes going to use the whole word.

But I still find myself with something to say. 

All of this Mauer hating this season has been just mind-boggling to me. And very sad. I'm embarrassed -- not so much about the tweets or the derivative, simplistic local columns that shaped the narrative in 2011 (sports guy writes it, blogger tweets it, 10 more retweet that and the next thing you know "everyone thinks it" and then somehow everyone thinks it. and so on.) that has somehow carried over to 2012 -- because that is just sort of how it goes these days. It's the Twins fans booing him at Target Field that I just cannot abide. 

Damn, really? That guy with the backwards hat and the popped collars is booing me? He's wearing loafers. Loafers!

First of all ... why? 

If you think Mauer is the problem this season, so much that you need to actually boo your own guy at home, you are just awful at being a baseball fan and you should probably either try to pay closer attention or maybe this just isn't the sport for you.


Second of all ... why? 

When did we start doing this, anyway? When did we turn into dick fans like this? Our own hometown boy, four time all-star, three time batting champion, AL MVP catcher has one bad season and we just turn on him? It's hard to even believe. It really is. I've always been proud to be a Twins fan; I've brought other people to the game on a promise that Twins fans are great, loyal, smart fans. (And I do know it's getting better and that, for the most part, we are still great, loyal and smart fans... it's that whole a few bad apples ruining the bushel thing happening here. I just think these apples really suck.)

Everything comes back to that damn 23 million. I've mentioned before that I am not a fan of conversations about players' salaries -- all of this shit is precisely why. I wish all of the numbers just stayed in the front office. 

It creeps me out to hear people sit around and discuss a person's worth -- like we, as spectators, can somehow determine that. Every move Mauer makes, on and off the field, is held up against this number in a game where those numbers are all so overblown and insane that focusing on any one, or twenty three, of them only leads to these small, jealous apples who you think that they can actually say, half a season into the second year of a guy's 8 year contract, if he is "worth it." Gross.

So, yeah, enough of that. I know I'll be cheering on Mauer with all my might next Tuesday. He might be our only guy, but he's our guy. So there.

Ciao, buddies.
-christine
     

Happy Birthday, Joe Mauer

Ciao, buddies.
-christine

That Was a Nice Win Today, and Three Other Things

1. In today's edition of YOU ARE DOING IT RIGHT:

How to respond to boo birds


2. Check out THE HAMMER on the MLB leader board:

And how much do you love the nickname THE HAMMER ??

3. Jeff Gray has thrown 3 pitches over the last 2 Twins wins and is 2-0. So there.


Ciao, buddies!
-cr.

p.s., I'm feeling really CAPPS LOCKY today. Sorry.

Meet Batting Stance Guy

Hey, do you guys know Batting Stance Guy?

I think I'm late to the party on this guy, but am now a big fan. I ran across him doing some research on an upcoming post on actors-as-baseball players (stay tuned), and just got sucked right in. As you can probably guess, he imitates batting stances (and more-- there's a lot of fun stuff on his site) of what seems like every ballplayer ever, including fictional ones.

He's (hot) not totally perfect, but does quite impressively capture the essence of each stance with both spot-on exaggerations of the tiniest movements and also perfect mirroring of the bigger flares, like bat tosses and twirls, hair flicking, or tongue stickingouting.

I can't even imagine how this skill (talent?) developed or how much baseball this guy has taken in in his life, but watching him has really made me think about batting stances in general. You get so used to seeing them that it's easy to forget the screwy idiosyncrasies each player brings to the plate -- every time.

Here's his take on some Twins players, past and present:



I know! It's funny because it's true. (I laughed out LOUD at Torii Hunter.)

Really though, I think something could be learned from this guy. Teams should hire him. I mean, how could anyone have let Greg Gagne bat that way? Anyway, he does every team just like this, several past and present. Click to his his website above and then sort by team.

Baseball!

Ciao, buddies.
-cr.

p.s., the more I watch this, the more impressed I am, especially with the more subtle moves... Check out his posture on Joe Mauer. It makes me want look at Joe's lovely muffinbutt a little closer (you can take that anyway you want, it's probably true) to see if he's actually arching his back and sticking it out a bit and maybe it's not as gloriously muffiny as it seems. Total America's Next Top Model move, Joe. (Points to anyone who can name it.) I'm pretty sure the only effective way to test this is with my teeth.

   

SPRING FEVAH, A LIST, AND AN OWL

I've got a fevah! Okay, maybe it's not a fevah quite yet, but there is a stirring-- an itchy, tingly sensation in my lower, gut-feeling places, one that whispers up to my thinking and speaking parts: pssst, it's time for baseball. 

I'm sure Rick Santorum's sugardaddy would advise me to try aspirin for that itch, but I think it probably has more to do with little signs of spring -- longer, brighter days, the slight smell of mud in the air, Summit Maibock, Shamrock shakes, generally cheerier people.

o and, THIS:

Pitchers and catchers at Fort Myers, photo courtesy @LaVelleNeal. February 19, 2011)

I know ya'll know this and every sports writer/blogger/tweeter out there has it covered, so I'll just say this: HELL YEA! (My right hand is tyinping whilst my left is fist-pumpyining.)

I am excited and I am optimistic and, dear sportsfriends, so should be you. 

An aside, sort of: We won't be dwelling on last season here at So It Goes Baseball. I am not a dweller, in life, in love, and most definitely not in sports. With each season, we start anew. We can analyze stats and trends and make predictions all damn day, but we just don't know how it's going to go until it's underway; and even then, good and not so good, surprises abound.

That is the beauty of the sports season and part of what makes this shit so fun.

So, if you want dwelling and rehashing, you can find that plenty of other places. You are also out of luck if you want:

• derivative whining about Mauer not being exactly what you want him to be as a person
  Analysis of his performance is, of course, on the table, as well as that of his muffinbutt, sideburns, his need for tighter pants, his favorite milkshake flavor, what kind of tattoo he might secretly have and where,* etc.
  
  

• bitching about front office payroll decisions. This might be a relevant conversation for baseball fans, I just find it incredibly boring.
  
  
• pining away for traded players, specifically ones for whom the need for a trade or a straight out dumping was pretty obvious. I might say something like... I really miss Corey Koskie and wish his career wouldn't have been cut short the way it was. I won't say... look, Nick Punto got on base two games in a row, I sure wish we had him back.
  
  
• Jeremy Lin puns. 

And with all that, I present evidence that this season will be better:

(Um... think of this in an Athena in ancient Greece, owls are good luck kind of way and not in an ancient Celtic, owls are harbingers of death kind of way.)

Ciao, buddies!
-christine

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* A hammer of Thor on his left inner thigh.