The deal is done. Dimples is gone.

Am I bad person if I am not sad about this?

Every longtime Twins fan will miss Cuddyer in a certain way-- as a great guy, the face of the team, a leader, a workhorse. I will miss all of that, too. Plus, ah, those dimples. But, as great as all of that is, it doesn't translate into production and that is why we're all at this show, isn't it?

In the interest of my genuine best wishes for Cuddy in Colorado, I won't go into the many ways he has been as infuriating as heroic in the last few years and focus on why this really is a good move for the Twins and, I'd venture a guess, for Michael and his little Cuddy family, too. To say that he seemed firmly over it by the end of the season is not to lie.

So we swap out for Josh Willingham -- by the numbers and age, pretty much 1 : 1 for Cuddy with a bit more power, less grounding into DPs, and high numbers on "isolated power," whatever that is. Although pretty cute, Willingham appears dimpleless, too bad. But with him we save a little pile of money (which I'm assuming has a big "for pitching" sticky note on it) and pick up 2 draft picks. Seems pretty win-win from all angles.

What do you think? Am I underestimating the importance of his solid leadership?

And, who is it that will step up and into the role? Obviously, it should be Mauer, but we know by now that, for whatever reasons, he seems utterly unable to embrace himself as the face of the team. Morneau? That would make my day as I cannot get enough of that goofy little grin he sports when speaks. Span, maybe?

So, best of luck Cuddy. For real, yo.

Ciao, buddies.
-christine

 

OKAY, baseball. I will pay attention to you now.

Confession: I've been fooling around on baseball. I've fallen for football, a flashy hussy I've had a mild flirtation with for years. Did you know they do dances and pantomimes and sometimes leap right into the crowd when they do good things?

But now baseball is shaking its muffinbutt my way and enticing me with the intrigue that is Winter Meetings. And I'm totally falling for it.


MAKING IT RAIN IN MIAMI

The Marlins got a makeover, yo. They are really going for it, rebranding and spending huge with a new stadium, new manager  (¡Ozzie Guillen!) and new super studs like Jose Reyes, Mark Buerhle, and probably Prince Fielder.

And, of course, there's the new name. They are Miami, not all of Florida. They are sexy South Beach clubs and tan boobs and Lebron, not Floribama and NASCAR. So, suck on that, Jack McKeon.

No extreme team makeover would be complete without a new wardrobe (and new logo) just as no public event in Miami would be complete without a runway and Pitbull.



Muey caliente! What's that? Caliente doesn't mean painfully awkward? Never mind.


I LIKE THE WAY YOU MOVE, ANGELS

Look at those thunderstealers in Anaheim, nabbing the big catch Albert Pujols from grabby Miami. And from St. Louis, I suppose. 254 million for 10 years. I'm not even going to get into how crazy it is to give a 31 year old a 10 year deal or what a total bummer it is for St. Louis and stick to why I like this move:

Pujols belongs in the American League* for the rest of his career, for two very important reasons.

1. The existence of the designated hitter, and 2. So that we can see him more often, girl.
   
    * but not on the Yankees or Red Sox
    * and not on an AL central competitor team
    * and not in Oakland because I don't really see him in green

It sounds like the burning of the 5 jerseys has already commenced in St. Louis. Sad. Stay classy, Cardinals nation.


ON THE HOME FRONT 

The Twins are boring and/or predictable compared to fish and the angels so there isn't a whole lot to say-- Nathan is gone. Capps is still here. Slowey is gone. There's still buzzing around Cuddyer, but it's a dull buzz. The new shortstop Jamey Carroll kind of looks like Nelson Van Alden on Boardwalk Empire.

Ciao, buddies!
-cr


P.S., anyone watch Baseball Wives?

Bring on the Tight Ends

I don't know about you, but the sportsfan area of my brain is already moving on to football. I usually can't make that switch until closer to November, but this year is a bit, uh, different. Not that baseball as a whole isn't still holding my interest - it is - but with the Twins totally out of it, not just statistically, but physically and mentally... well, whatever. Bring on the tight ends.

Looks like Cuddy agrees. Check out his fantasy picks, along with Mark Buehrle's, Cole Hamel's, and more.


Round 1

#1 Cole Hamels: Peterson, Adrian RB MIN
#2 Eric Hinske: Rodgers, Aaron QB GB
#3 Mark Reynolds: Foster, Arian RB HOU
#4 Michael Cuddyer: Johnson, Chris RB TEN
#5 Brad Lidge: Rice, Ray RB BAL
#6 Adam Dunn: Charles, Jamaal RB KC
#7 David Wright: McCoy, LeSean RB PHI
#8 Mark Buehrle: Jones-Drew, Maurice RB JAC
#9 Phil Hughes: Vick, Michael QB PHI
#10 Travis Hafner: McFadden, Darren RB OAK
#11 Aaron Rowand: Brees, Drew QB NO
#12 Ben Sheets: Jackson, Steven RB STL  

Round 2
#1 Ben Sheets: Gore, Frank RB SF
#2 Aaron Rowand: Forte, Matt RB CHI
#3 Travis Hafner: Mendenhall, Rashard RB PIT
#4 Phil Hughes: Turner, Michael RB ATL
#5 Mark Buehrle: Hillis, Peyton RB CLE
#6 David Wright: Johnson, Andre WR HOU
#7 Adam Dunn: Rivers, Philip QB SD
#8 Brad Lidge: Johnson, Calvin WR DET
#9 Michael Cuddyer: Blount, LeGarrette RB TB
#10 Mark Reynolds: Brady, Tom QB NE
#11 Eric Hinske: White, Roddy WR ATL
#12 Cole Hamels: Fitzgerald, Larry WR ARI

 > the full picks

I'm off to my own FF draft-- maybe I'll just copy Adam Dunn's picks. He seems like a smart guy.  : )

Ciao, buddies.
-christine

p.s., wish me luck!

Everything That's Great About Baseball: Jim Thome, Everybody.

"You just love to see good things happen to good people"  - Justin Morneau

Ciao, buddies.
-christine

 

So It Goes Baseball Mom Finally Makes Her Debut (and it's a good one).

(turn up the volume)


Ciao, buddies.
-christine

Moon Over Minneapolis

 Not bad. Not at all.

LOST and weird and frustrating and sad...

Remember 2004? It was a big year.

LOST premiered, Friends ended.

Britney Spears got married, got divorced, and then got married again.

The Red Sox won the World Series after 86 years of whining waiting.

And, of course, Fox hunting was finally outlawed in the UK.

2004 was also the last time the White Sox swept the Twins. Until Sunday. The losses on their own were ugly -- and at home, ouch -- but it was more than that... a bigger loss than just a series sweep. The nail in the 2011 season, I suspect.

All of that momentum from June seems a thing of the past and the things that were going so well, most notably the back to back to back dominance from the starting five-- well, no longer going so well, at all. Blackburn is doing that thing again when he looks like he's simply forgotten that he is a major league baseball player -- like really he's an art history from Fresno named Stephen with a ph who Quantum Leaped into Blackburn's body in the third inning and has no idea that there is a difference between a sinker and a slider.

It's not just Blackburn, they are all sucking in their own special ways, but he just has nothing. He looks lost and it's weird and frustrating and sad. I think someone really should check to see if there is an art history teacher in Fresno who suddenly has no idea that there is a difference between Edward and Dennis Hopper. Maybe we can still fix this.

Ciao, buddies.
-christine

The Good, the Getting Better but Not Quite There Yet, and the Ugly

I know it's been a while, again-- sorry. So here's a big fat post to make up for it. It's officially All-Star Break and the mid-way point, and a good time for some stock-taking. So, here ya go.

The Good

The Longview

Remember that on June 1, we were 16 1/2 games back and hovering around .325. A month and a half later, we are 6 1/2 games out and closing in on .500. We've won 9 of the last 12 series, which is key. 6 1/2 games out at the All-Star Break feel pretty typical for us, actually. So, yeah, it was an inexplicably terrible start, but now it's the AS break, the halfway point and a restart of sorts, and we've gotten ourselves to a point from which we know we can realistically do this. Perspective. And, yes, by, this, I do mean win the division.


The Rotation

The starting five are really looking good. Of course any one of them will have an off day, but quality starts, wins, deep starts and even some complete games, have been pretty consistent from all five of them,  This is good news, Twins fans. There's not much more key than a solid starting rotation; you cannot be a winning team without one, no matter what else you have going for you.


Glen Perkins

What? I know, I'm just as surprised as you are. Glen Perkins is killing it. A local blogger (so sorry, I can't remember who) compared Perkins to "the wolf" in Pulp Fiction. The clean up guy who comes in and, eerily calmly, efficiently, cleans up the shit show* that came before him. This is kind of a new thing for the Twins and I just love it. With these deeper starts from the aforementioned rotation and solid innings from Nathan + Capps, and Perkins' new found dominance, the 8-9 innings are feeling pretty good. I'll even go so far as to say if Perkins keeps this business up, he should maybe start thinking about his closer song. Hungry Like a Wolf, perhaps?

The Getting Better but Not Quite There Yet

Joe Mauer

My main man, my favorite muffinbutted catcher, sometimes DH, even first-baseman; Joe Mauer is looking good. He's clearly not 100% and I can't quite wrap my head around what went down the first half of the season, but I'm not worried about the second. I don't feel like looking up any stats on his climbing BA and OBP, but I know that he was on base a lot the last couple of series, he's getting some sweet hits or otherwise hitting the ball on the screws. To me, he's really starting to look Mauer.

The Bleeping Sardines

Dingo. Fosters. Shrimp on the barbie and stuff.

Casilla, Revere, Hughes, Nishi, Tosoni, oh my. These guys have been key to this comeback in a few ways, the energy being the number one factor. There's not necessarily a standout all-around, Casilla maybe, but as a sum of their parts, these boys have put together some impressive, and totally clutch, moments both offensively and defensively that have played a huge role in this June and July comeback. The reason that sardines are not in the "good" category is too many problems of inconsistency and youthful, stupid mistakes. Not going deep enough into at-bats, way too many first pitch outs, and poor base running, in particular.

Base running mistakes are sad, unnecessary rally killers -- and one of my biggest pet peeves, so maybe I'm being harsh. (Biggest pet peeves post still to come.)

Young and Kubel
Both are coming back soon. This is good news. I think. Definitely good news regarding Kubes, but... honestly I don't have a clue how it'll all shake out. We kind of have a lot of outfielders already, and designated hitters. Where o where will they go?

The Ugly

For the first two months, everything was going wrong. Everything. So, to make an ugly list would have been pretty pointless, like making a list of islands in Hawaii that are pretty. Now I think things are shaking out enough to where the consistencies of suck are, such as:

Hey, buddy. What ya thinking about?
You wondering why you suck so  much?

* The Bullpen

Glen Perkins, Joe Nathan, and Matt Capps notwithstanding, the bullpen is the major malfunction. I just cringe when I see Burnett, Mijares, and company warming in the pen, especially Mijares. And Burnett. The only thing either of them do consistently well is sweat, give away the lead, and melt down. "Melt Down Mijares," I like it. This is where I hope to see some movement before the trade deadline.






Injuries
It's really been frustrating, hasn't it? I've said before, and not just on this blog, that the Twins seem to be more injury prone than other teams. (Note: I have no clue if this is true or not statistically, but it sure seems that way.) Do they not train hard enough? Not lift enough weights? Are they just babies? Don't do enough core workouts? Don't do enough steroids? Hopefully the worst of it is over because I don't know how how long our sardines could keep it up if any more of the big fishes go down, again.

So, what do ya think- will the Twins make any moves before the July 31 deadline? Should they? (Can you tell I'm trying to get you guys to chat it up a little? I know you're out there.)

Thanks, buddies.
-christine

p.s., If you are curious where I come down on All-Star Game, Love It or Hate It?  I love it.

  

Good job, Red Sox. Come on teams, keep 'em coming.

Ciao, buddies.
-christine

Jim Leyland Don't Care

Jim Leyland don't give a shit.

 Ciao.
-cr.